{"title":"Top Sellers","description":"\u003cp\u003eOur best-selling products that customers love! These fan favorites are flying off the shelves and perfect for anyone looking to experience the Holy Hot Mom lifestyle.\u003c\/p\u003e","products":[{"product_id":"membership","title":"Holy Hot Mom Box","description":"\u003ch1\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eHoly Hot Mom™ Box\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h1\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003e\n\u003cspan class=\"s1\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eRecovery Oils, Ritual Goods, Emotional Support \u0026amp; Tiny Wellness Revolutions\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"s1\"\u003e\u003cb\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\n\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p2\"\u003eEvery month, a bright pink Holy Hot Mom box arrives at your door packed with rotating small-batch creations, member-only goodies, ritual care, and lovingly chaotic support for your body, home, nervous system, and emotional pile of laundry.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p2\"\u003e\u003cem\u003eThis is not just a subscription box.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p3\"\u003eIt’s somewhere between:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ewellness club\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ecomedy support group\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eaccountability circle\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003etraveling tent revival\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eand a very organized emotional exorcism.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003e\u003cspan class=\"s1\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eIncludes:\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e1 Ex-It Oil Dropper (\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e2oz)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e1 Original Roller (50ml)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e1 Baby Dragon Roller\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e1 Spicy Hot Roller (30ml)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cblockquote\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p2\"\u003ePlus monthly member-only goodies, weekly cleanup calls, Sacred Circus access, discounts, surprise wellness drops, and deeply supportive weirdness.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/blockquote\u003e\n\u003ch3 class=\"p1\"\u003eDesigned for sore muscles, tension, dry skin, intimate body care, and sacred bits that deserve better support.\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003ch4 class=\"p2\"\u003eNeck. Hips. Knees. Belly. Lips. Cheeks.\u003cbr\u003eYes, both kinds.\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003ch4 dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\n\u003cspan\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003ch4 dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e⭐ Get Your HOT MOM BOX shipped to you monthly with your Hot Mom goodies only for members like the coveted lip balms! \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eYou get monthly level up your health, joy, love, and laughter each month. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eCome into the lives to request special replacements in your box. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch4 dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eWEEKLY CLEAN-YO-SH*T PLAYDATES\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eEvery Wednesday, we gather for two hours to clean, and that includes your phone and inbox, so that we cleanse the emotions \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eunderneath the piles! \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003ePlus how to slay parasites Q\u0026amp;A\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch4 dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eMONTHLY REVIVALS + RESET CALLS\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eBe on the list for all monthly webinars and workshops and in person revivals and Sacred Circus Events. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch4 dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eDISCOUNTS ON ALL PRODUCTS + a HOT MOM BOX! \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eMembers save money every month!\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch4 dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eWHY JOIN?\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eBecause you MUST HAVE that FUN PINK BOX arrive monthly to your house to make you giggle. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eYou want daily, weekly, and monthly LAUGHTER, JOY, and LOVE that lifts your chronic pain and shoves you into living your joyful life already! \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eYou want access to \u003cem\u003eHoly Hot Mom\u003c\/em\u003e Angela and her community to have more FUN! \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eYOU’RE NOT JUST GETTING CONTENT and a \u003cem\u003eHot Box\u003c\/em\u003e–you Get Community and Commitment!\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eYou’re getting momentum. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eConsistency. Clarity. Plus Weekly COMEDY! \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eI provide places for MEN privately and WOMEN privately (ya'll are different) and then events to meet each other! \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eAs we all rise, we rise together, like water, and drown the Beast while we have the most fun. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eGet your hot mom BFF and muse who shows up even when you're just learning to show up for yourself. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"HOLY HOT MOM","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":42716418768983,"sku":null,"price":169.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0590\/0809\/0199\/files\/add-the-bottle-from-the-second-image-int_n3vodfDKWdeal_fZpKwqXw_byzkaRSKRHuVmXRYy02tXw_cover_hd.png?v=1778649427"},{"product_id":"holy-hot-mom-sacred-circus-blend-botanical-recovery-oil-for-tension-and-stress","title":"Ex-it Oil: Sacred Circus Blend","description":"\u003ch2\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eEx-it Chronic Pain From Your Body\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003eA limited-edition 8x potency batch brewed for the Sacred Circus tent revival to soothe sore muscles, soften stress, heighten rituals, and gently exorcise whatever’s been living in your lower back.\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eInfused for \u003cspan style=\"text-decoration: underline;\"\u003e4 months\u003c\/span\u003e in small batches with castor oil, medicinal herbs, flower resins, and sacred botanicals traditionally used for body care and grounding.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e***Due to the potency and limited supply,\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"font-bold text-hhm-midnight\"\u003eSacred Circus Blend\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eis only available in 2oz. But, fear not! The next brew is coming. \u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eBuying an\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e8oz\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003ebottle now is\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"italic\"\u003ereserving\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003ethe next batch, which will ship by June 10th.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cem\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eShipping note: Due to high volume, please allow \u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e10-14 days processing time before shipment\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eGood for—\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e✦ necks\u003cbr\u003e✦ backs\u003cbr\u003e✦ hips\u003cbr\u003e✦ bellies\u003cbr\u003e✦ beards\u003cbr\u003e✦ scars\u003cbr\u003e✦ tattoos\u003cbr\u003e✦ \u0026amp; all your lips, holes, and souls\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eGood for sore muscles, tired nervous systems, hips, feet, backs, bellies, scars, tattoos, and all your lips, holes, and souls.\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eWarm, earthy, resinous, and sexy!\u003cbr\u003e(Unless it’s spicy.)\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eOnly available until sold out\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003e✶ ✶ ✶ ✶ ✶ ✶ ✶ ✶ ✶ ✶ ✶ ✶ ✶ ✶ ✶ ✶ ✶ ✶ \u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch1\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePeople report real shifts in pain, intimacy, mood, and how they move through the world.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h1\u003e\n\u003cblockquote\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cem\u003e“I’ve had back pain for years. This lifted it like magic.” \u003c\/em\u003e— David\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cem\u003e“No joke. The pain is gone. How did you do that?”\u003c\/em\u003e — Mike\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cem\u003e“My fibromyalgia flare stopped instantly.” \u003c\/em\u003e— Roxie\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cem\u003e“Hemorrhoids for 28 years — gone.” \u003c\/em\u003e— Marina\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cem\u003e“Holy cow, my hemorrhoids are gone!”\u003c\/em\u003e — Zana\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/blockquote\u003e\n\u003ch2 dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat People Use It For\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eWe ain't claiming anything that belongs to perps. We witness awakenings.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e✦ Daily body or anointing ritual\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e✦ Tension, soreness, tired skin\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e✦ Vulva, balls, beard, lymph nodes - yes, put it on your booty hole!\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e✦ Feet, hips, back, belly, scars, tattoos\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e✦ That thing you don’t want to talk about but want relief from\u003cspan\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch1\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat’s Inside\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h1\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003eAll-organic castor, calendula, and apricot kernel oils slowly infused with:\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e✦ Comfrey\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e✦ Elder Flower\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e✦ Japanese Knotweed\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e✦ Nettle\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e✦ Mullein\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e✦ Yarrow\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e✦ Linden Flower\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch5\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFinished with—\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h5\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e✦ Frankincense \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e✦ Myrrh\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e✦ Vitamin E\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e✦ Edible Gold (that’s not glitter)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e✦ Holy Hot Mom’s sacred flower blend\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003e\n\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u0026lt;br\u0026gt;\u003cbr\u003eSlow-brewed in tiny batches with u✧n✧\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003ef✧o✧r✧s✧e✧e✧n levels of devotion.\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003e\u0026lt;br\/\u0026gt;\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003e✶ ✶ ✶ ✶ ✶ ✶ ✶ ✶ ✶ ✶ ✶ ✶ ✶ ✶ ✶ ✶ ✶ ✶ \u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch1\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhy It Works\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h1\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e✦ Castor oil. (Your grandma was right.)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e✦ Ancient herbs nobody can patent.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e✦ Brewed slowly for months, never mass-produced.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e✦ Started in my kitchen while trying to survive a parasite cleanse and fix my own butt.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003e✶ ✶ ✶ ✶ ✶ ✶ ✶ ✶ ✶ ✶ ✶ ✶ ✶ ✶ ✶ ✶ ✶ ✶ \u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003ch3 dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTurns out it’s fantastic for \u003cem\u003eeveryone\u003c\/em\u003e.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePerfect for—\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e✦ neck, jaw, lymph points\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e✦ wrists, behind knees\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e✦ quick grounding during stress\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e✦ on-the-go relief\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e✦ pack in your bag for a rejuvenating lift during the day\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e✦ Use anywhere on your body - avoid your eyes \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e⏳ Made to order.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003ePlease allow 7–14 days for herbs to steep and batches to finish.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003e✶ ✶ ✶ ✶ ✶ ✶ ✶ ✶ ✶ ✶ ✶ ✶ ✶ ✶ ✶ ✶ ✶ ✶ \u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2 dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhy People Reorder and Become Wholesale Affiliates \u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e☞ This oil tends to become part of people’s lives.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e☞ People use it after long days, hard workouts, emotional spirals, massages, festivals, road trips, intimacy, and mysterious shoulder pain that appeared out of nowhere.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e☞ Some keep it beside the bed.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e☞ Some keep it in the car.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e☞ Some hide bottles from their partners.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e☞ It’s not just body oil.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e☞ It’s relief, ritual, and a tiny moment of exhale.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cem\u003eChoose your bottle above and see where your body asks for it.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Angela Shelton","offers":[{"title":"2 oz","offer_id":41915052589143,"sku":null,"price":69.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"8 oz","offer_id":42069405761623,"sku":null,"price":242.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0590\/0809\/0199\/files\/hhm-sacredcircus-dropper.png?v=1780713670"},{"product_id":"celery-queen","title":"🌱✨ CELERY SOLDIERS Box and WAND!","description":"\u003ch1 dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eA Hot Mom Box with a Wand! \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h1\u003e\n\u003ch3 dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\n\u003cspan\u003eBecome a Celery Soldier! YOUR JOB, should you choose to accept it, is to LAUGH, SPREAD JOY, and ELEVATE the LOVE OF GOD in every single moment. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\n\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eYour Celery Wand makes the High Vibrations easier and more fun and the backstory keeps you LAUGHING every time you see celery! \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eWave Your Wands \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eEnergy Wand - Meditation Wand • Frequency FUN Companion\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eIncludes: Hot Mom Oil, Celery Wand! CELERY SOLDIERS Membership (excuse me WHAT?!) + Digital Book and updated lives PLUS you are now in the Celery Soldiers! \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eOur mission to LAUGH every time you see celery and to use your Celery Queen Jean Wand to elevate your FREQUENCY and all around you! \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eFor those who know: use this wand as an archon and demon blaster too - join our lives to find out how to use it and to practice laughing and of course see Queen Jean! \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eYour wand comes with a BOTTLE OF HOT MOM oil - but your celery is for EXTERNAL PLAY ONLY! \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cb\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eWhat Is the Celery Queen Jean™ Wand?\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThe Celery Queen Jean Beam is a WAND! It's an energy shifter, mood lifter, dark aura slayer, laughter and joy weapon! \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eIt’s a ritual object, a meditation anchor, and a frequency companion designed to help you redirect energy, calm your nervous system, and bring your focus back to what actually matters.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eBorn from laughter, honesty, and a real breakthrough moment inside the Sacred Circus community, this piece exists to help you move from restless habits → grounded presence → creative flow.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eAnd yes… it’s celery. It looks like a real celery stalk and it's HILARIOUS. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eSometimes the thing that heals you is the thing that makes you laugh.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cb\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eAnd the way to eradicate parasites and demons is STFU: Sacred Truth Frequency United. \u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eYour Frequency is lifted with LAUGHTER, JOY, and GOD LOVE \u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eWave your celery and proclaim and protect your space with profound play! \u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eWhy Celery?\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eBecause all hail Queen Jean and those who know the story. Come into our lives for the full reveal. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003ePLUS parasites don't like it. PLUS celery is ancient, medicinal, misunderstood, and wildly underestimated.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eHistorically, celery was:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli aria-level=\"1\" dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\n\u003cp role=\"presentation\" dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eDisplayed in ceremonial vases\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli aria-level=\"1\" dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\n\u003cp role=\"presentation\" dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eUsed as a symbol of vitality and purification\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli aria-level=\"1\" dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\n\u003cp role=\"presentation\" dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eKnown for its cleansing properties (physical and energetic)\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThis piece is symbolic, not edible — but it stands as a reminder that small, simple things can interrupt destructive loops and restore clarity.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eWhat You Get Immediately\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eWhen you purchase the Celery Queen Jean™ Beam, you receive immediate access to:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e📘 The Celery Queen Jean Digital Book\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eA funny, honest, sacred story about:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli aria-level=\"1\" dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\n\u003cp role=\"presentation\" dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eBreaking shame cycles\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli aria-level=\"1\" dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\n\u003cp role=\"presentation\" dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eRedirecting energy into creativity and calm\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli aria-level=\"1\" dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\n\u003cp role=\"presentation\" dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eHow this product was born out of shame and secrets and CSA\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli aria-level=\"1\" dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\n\u003cp role=\"presentation\" dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eWhy laughter is one of the fastest healing tools available!\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e🎪 Sacred Circus Membership Access and the Holy Hot Mom Squad\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli aria-level=\"1\" dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\n\u003cp role=\"presentation\" dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003ePrivate marching orders for Celery Soldiers! \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli aria-level=\"1\" dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\n\u003cp role=\"presentation\" dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eBehind-the-scenes storytelling\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli aria-level=\"1\" dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\n\u003cp role=\"presentation\" dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eAccess to Sacred Circus teachings, rituals, and creative experiments\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eYou are not “waiting for something with nothing in hand.”\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eYou are entering the circle now.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cb\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eWhy This Exists (The Bigger Picture)\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThe Celery Queen Jean Wand is part of the Sacred Circus Store — a living marketplace featuring creations from:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli aria-level=\"1\" dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\n\u003cp role=\"presentation\" dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eSurvivors\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli aria-level=\"1\" dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\n\u003cp role=\"presentation\" dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eReformers\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli aria-level=\"1\" dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\n\u003cp role=\"presentation\" dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eHealers\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli aria-level=\"1\" dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\n\u003cp role=\"presentation\" dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eArtists\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli aria-level=\"1\" dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\n\u003cp role=\"presentation\" dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eInventors\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli aria-level=\"1\" dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\n\u003cp role=\"presentation\" dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eHot Moms\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli aria-level=\"1\" dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\n\u003cp role=\"presentation\" dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eSacred weirdos with real ideas\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eEvery product supports:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli aria-level=\"1\" dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\n\u003cp role=\"presentation\" dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThe creator\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli aria-level=\"1\" dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\n\u003cp role=\"presentation\" dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThe Sacred Circus Church \u0026amp; Joy Mission\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli aria-level=\"1\" dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\n\u003cp role=\"presentation\" dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eA new way of funding art, healing, and sovereignty without exploitation\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThis is commerce with a soul putting the laughter and joy into your full life, including your finances. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eWho This Is For\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThis is for you if:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e✔ You want a physical object that supports your inner work\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e✔ You’re tired of scrolling and need something grounding nearby\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e✔ You appreciate humor + holiness living in the same room\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e✔ You want to support creators doing things differently\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e✔ You like being early to something meaningful or you simply cannot stop laughing and MUST OWN THIS!\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003ePrice\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e$69 (of course it is)  \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eYes, that number is intentional. Humor is medicine. AND --\u0026gt; YOU ALSO GET THE OIL! \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eGet Double for more laughter and to use in your affiliate videos and photos! \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eQueen Jean gets the majority of the sale. \u003cstrong\u003eAll hail Queen Jean!\u003c\/strong\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\n\u003cspan\u003eYour celery solider boxes ship end of March with a target of April 1s. If you want your oil faster, order a separate oil box. \u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eIs that Celery in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eYou don’t need to be perfect.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eYou need to LAUGH. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eYou don’t need to “fix yourself\" or \"fix the world\" or stay frozen in fear. \u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eYou need to LAUGH and FEEL JOY! \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThat’s what the Celery Queen Jean Wand is for! \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWe are not waiting to make it all perfect. We are a force of FREQUENCY \u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Angela Shelton","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":42531426959447,"sku":null,"price":69.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0590\/0809\/0199\/files\/celerybox.jpg?v=1771341302"}],"url":"https:\/\/holyhotmom.com\/collections\/top-sellers.oembed","provider":"HOLY HOT MOM","version":"1.0","type":"link"}